Ep. 13: Short and Vulnerable with Dr. Maya – This Too is Healing

Dr. Maya Novak:
So this episode is slightly different and it's different because I don't have any guests. And even though I did solo episodes in the past and I'm planning to do them in the future, what's different about this episode is that I don't have any outline. So I'm just sitting here with the mic. You, me, the mic, and I'm sharing my heart. And the reason why I decided to record this episode is because last week I was sick and I had low energy, fever, coughing. Of course I wasn't working. I wasn't pushing myself. I didn't take any medication to act as everything is normal, so all the work for my business, for this podcast was pushed aside, which for me is kind of a normal thing. But because it was pushed aside, now coming this week, the episode that was half ready for this week was not finished. And even though I was kind of planning to push myself, I actually decided this morning - You know what? No I'm not doing that. And I was thinking of just skipping one week and you know, not publish anything, and that didn't sit well with me, either.

And it didn't sit well with me because at the beginning when I started with this podcast, you might remember if you were listening to episode one, I said that I'm going to release one episode every single week. So in an ideal world, you know, once per week recording an episode with a guest or solo episode. Not a big deal, but when we are making plans, we are planning it sort of if everything is going to work well in our lives, right? But illness comes, fever comes, things happen in life, and sometimes we just have to find the best solution for that moment. So the best solution for this moment here is to record this, which technically is not really an episode, but actually it is, right? So, me talking here. And I wanted to actually share a bit about boundaries, because boundaries are a huge part of healing as well. So the reason why I'm recording this episode is because we so many times say yes when we want to say no to something. We say yes when it might be better to say no, we do things that we don't want to do, and we do them because they are expected from us, or because we put something on our shoulders ourselves and now we think that we are obliged to do them.

So of course, I am you know... a part of me is dealing a bit with guilt in regard to “Oh, but Maya, you don't have a proper episode ready, right? You don't have an outline. You don't have a guest.” But the other part of me is like, you know what? After so, so, so many years of working with clients, a lot of them one on one, because of course you know I love working with clients one on one, and the reason is because I can really tune into their energy and help them way better than when someone just buys a program of mine. Of course they are very helpful and people are getting great results from that as well. But having someone who you talk to every single week and that you can contact any time is completely different. It is another type of energy and everything. So after so many years of working with clients I discovered that what helps them the most is when I lead with an example.

When I show them how I take any kind of steps in difficult situations. When I show them what boundaries mean to me. When I say no to potentially a session because I am not completely ok in that moment. You know, when I'm doing all of these things, it's shown me that this really matters and that people around me respond very well to this. Because it's not just about, “Here's the theory. This is how life looks like in theory, and now good luck and put this into practice.” It really is how and what we do on a daily basis, and how much we share with people who follow us, who share life with us, who [coughs] - excuse me! So this is not going to be edited out because this is life. That's the reason why we're doing this episode. My throat is still not completely okay and my energy is still a bit low, and you know... Yes, so back to the topic in regard to how people respond to what we are doing on a daily basis. You know, so many times I've seen people, experts, you know, people who are in the public eye. Who are sharing one thing. What should people do. What is great for their health. In regard to, for example, diet or sleeping habits, or you know, whatever supplements to take. And the longer you observe them, and if you join any of their programs, and if you have an opportunity to peak behind the curtains... So many times you can actually see that they are not walking the talk. Or that they are not walking the talk 100%. And I'm not saying that we have to be perfect and we have to do things 100%. Absolutely not. But I do think that it's important for us to walk the talk. To, if we are talking about something, that we actually do this in our lives as well, right? So going back to boundaries...

Why this is so extremely important in regard to healing - whether it's illness, whether it's physical trauma, injuries... Whatever it is. When you create these healthy boundaries, your body - not just the physical body, but your psyche responds so well to it. And people around you respond so well to it as well. However, here's the thing: of course, when you put yourself first it can happen that some people will say, “What? What do you mean you don't like me to talk to you in that way? What do you mean that you don't want to have extra work? What do you mean that now all of a sudden this doesn't work for you?” And yes, there will be people who will fall off the wagon and they will leave your life, and at times this is difficult. At times it's not easy, but then you're also creating new space for new people who will respect you, your boundaries, your life. You're giving them the opportunity to enter your life and if I go just a bit deeper in regard to how your body responds to boundaries. You know, when you know what you want, and when you know what you don’t want, and when you create these boundaries your whole biochemistry changes as well. And it's in a way, it's like a relaxation response. And once we are in the relaxation mode, the body can heal better. When we know what is yes and what is no, it gives us a sort of like a box, if you will, inside of which we feel safe and secure. And when we feel safe and secure, the body responds in the most positive way. So this is my message for you today in an episode that technically is an episode, but actually it is not. [laughs] It's just, you know, me, you, the mic... Which if we are looking at the definition of a podcast, this is what a podcast is. But since I always, always prepare myself really well for every single episode.... I co-create episodes with my guests because I don't believe in conversations or in interviews where I give a question to an expert and then just wait for them to respond. And then question 2, and question 3, and question 4... I mean, I was in the past... a few times it happened that I was in the seat of a guest and the interview went this way, and I can tell you that I did not enjoy it. I did not enjoy it also because sometimes what you can see on the other side, especially when it comes to podcasts, is that the person asks you a question and then you start talking, and because a lot of the times there are cameras so that we can see each other, I experienced that, yeah, the person asked me a question and then they started doing something else. They were writing something down, or they were texting and it was just so extremely weird. So yeah, that's what is sometimes also happening behind the scenes. Not to criticize anyone. Absolutely not. I do think that we people do what we believe is the best in that moment. But from someone who experienced this, I absolutely don't want anyone to feel that way when they are around me. And one of the things that I do live my life by is - you know that saying, people will forget what you said, but they will not forget how they felt around you? This is so true. And I know I make grammar mistakes. I mean, English is not my first language. I had huge, huge, huge difficulties with English for many years. Actually, when we moved to New Zealand with my husband in 2012, for the first couple of years I was embarrassed to speak English in front of him. I was embarrassed to speak English with anyone, because I really felt that it was so, so, so bad. And to tell you the truth, the first video that I posted online - I think I posted it on Youtube. It's not there anymore, sorry to say that, because it was also a part of our Youtube channel that is not active anymore. But it took me - I was talking about healing injuries and physical trauma - it took us to record that, I think for 2 or 3 minute long video, it took us about 3 hours, because my English was so bad. Because every single sentence I needed to do almost like word by word by word. And my husband, he was so extremely patient with me. But yeah, you know, these were my beginnings, and like I said, I know that I still make mistakes and grammar mistakes, and perhaps sometimes people don't completely understand me, but with every single post that I put outside, with every single episode, with every single email, or - oh my goodness, I'm getting pretty emotional right now. [sobs] You know, with every single thing that I put outside, I do my best. I really do my best so that people will potentially forget what I said, but that they will not forget how they felt around me. And if I can help in this, my goodness, this has been with me since the beginning when I started sharing my story and my injury recovery story. Um, I went into this with the thinking of, if I can help one person to feel better. To heal. To get over these challenges - I'm successful. I've done my job.

And you know, so many years later - how many... six, seven years later since I really started helping people professionally. You know, it's been more than one person. And with every single one who reached out to me, or shared their story, or shared how my videos helped them, or my book helped them, or my programs helped them, or whatever... I take every single person as that one person that I helped. That one individual - and this makes me happy. And this I think is what success is, right? So this is it for today. This is in regard to short and valuable, even though it wasn't so extremely short. But you know, this, too, is healing. This, too, is important. This is how we bounce forward from any kind of physical trauma, emotional trauma, mental trauma... any kind of trauma. Illnesses, diseases... You know, whatever it is. And yes, I hope that in some way this gave you an insight and something to think about for you, for your life, for your health, for your wellness, for the things that are important to you. And like I said, I always collaborate with my guests, and get feedback from them, and ask them what they would like to talk about. And I have also a long list of questions that I want to ask them. But long story short, if you find this kind of episodes helpful as well, or if you found this episode helpful, do tell me. The easiest way is if you send me an email. You can send me an email to maya@mayanovak.com or in regard to social media, the easiest or the most responsive I am on Instagram. This is my go-to social media outlet. But yeah, these two ways. So let me know your thoughts, reach out, share your story and let me know if you would like to hear more of this kind of stuff in the future.

I don't know, hopefully, hopefully [laughs] I'm not going to be sick in the next few months again, but you know what - maybe this kind of episodes, which technically are episodes, but they are not really episodes, you know, can be recorded also when I'm not sick or coming out of any kind of disease. Okay, now I have to stop talking because my throat is getting a bit [coughs] dry. So yeah, have a lovely evening, afternoon, morning, I'm sending you a lot of love and let me know what you think. Bye-bye.